Being a North Indian and living in Kerala, what i have seen is that generally people have a non friendly approach to things. Initially i was not sure if i was the only one who felt it but after staying there for 3 years in Kerala, what i have observed is that most people there itself do not hang out with each other. The friendship over there is totally superficial. Smile, but do not genuinely mean it.
Sharing a few articles
It’s not just unity but discord among themselves that are the hallmarks of Malayalees as a community anywhere in the world, including their home state.
While the bonding and unity among Malayalees is what would be apparent to an observer, the factor of discord will usually be an undercurrent that brings the ugliness of it to the surface only when things go bursting at the seams, or it cannot be contained anymore with pretentions.
When collectively facing trouble, perceived or real, Malayalees will stick together like kernels on a cob of corn. When things are indeed looking up, well, that’s when the kernels fall apart and each start popping like popcorn.
Comfort of speaking one’s mother tongue, reminiscing a common past, sharing nuanced jokes that other communities cannot understand, a cuisine diverse yet unique that calls for constant exchange of notes, polarised politics that fuels heated exchanges that could never be concluded, movies that at once draw from and define the cultural identity of Malayalees. All these and many more are the reasons for Malayalees to bond with each other. And if they’re anywhere but in Kerala, it would be a yearning for the laid-back life and simple pleasures they left behind back home that calls for unity.
Other communities too may share all or most of these traits, but when it comes to Kerala, there are a number of distinct yet tenuous cultural markers that set Malayalees apart from similar cultures as a result of geographical sequestration all through the history of Kerala. It’s by constantly reminding themselves of this perceived uniqueness, or even superiority, that Malayalees keep their identity intact.
One way to illustrate this is to look at the Tamil vazhai ilai virundhu and Kerala sadya. They might look similar to the uninitiated, but two Malayalees together having a vazhai ilai virundhu in Chennai will necessarily deplore the meal as being bland and insipid and concur that nothing can beat the sadya back home.
When Malayalees concur on an issue with herd mentality at play while discussing the culture or sociopolitical environment of wherever they find themselves anchored (including within Kerala), the unspoken covenant is that there is a clear divide between us and them, the latter being whoever it may be at the receiving end of incessant hostility or even hatred. Sometimes this could be fellow malayalees who are perceived to have crossed the lines drawn by a very mysogynistic society, like actress Parvathi, the current target of Malayali bigotry
But don’t be deceived by the apparent unity among Malayalees in adversarial times.
Malayalees cannot tolerate first-among-equals in any group. So, if someone tries to be one up on the others in their community or a microcosm of it, they’re certain to be sidelined or bitched about.
This factious mentality can be seen in how Malayali associations form and split, and then split further as they grow.
A successful Malayali is not universally accepted by other Malayalees. Their every deed and word will be discussed and dissected with derision and skeptisim.
Unlike Gujaratis who help each other prosper and flourish, and find pleasure in seeing members of their own community becoming successful beyond imagination, Malayalees will give them a backhanded compliment at best, attributing the success to fortuity or clandestine means.
Every Malayalee secretly enjoys the downfall of a successful Malayali (Yeah, it’s generalisation but that’s how you make a point). Think of Anand Jon, or Atlas Ramachandran, who fell from grace. Or even Shashi Tharoor who has more haters than admirers among Malayalees for a variety of crimes he has committed including, but not limited to, speaking and writing in proper but grandiloquent English. But the same Malayalees were the first to embrace him as one-among-us when he scaled heights in the UN. Hypocrisy was conspicuous in the way cricketer S. Sreesanth , was treated all through his career, too
For lack of a simpler word, let’s call it Schadenfreude .
Schadenfreude is the equivalent of a communal orgasm malayalees experience when one of their own falls from grace.
Every Malayali knows that unless he’s on guard, it’d be his compatriots who would be his nemesis when he rises above others. And rising above others is what every Malayali wants to do. This quandary leads to the Crab mentality.
Every Malayali is born a Malayali, and brought up to be very proud of his Mallu heritage. This remains, till the person hits puberty, when he or she has to make a choice. A choice that will determine what he or she will become. A true Mallu or a true Human Being.
Although called as “God’s Own Country” for any sane and civilised person, I would say it would be worse than the Devil’s Home.
There are four types of Mallus
1.The Normal Mallu
The Normal Mallu is the major Mallu Stereotype (Well it is True). He wears the White Dhoti and White Khadi shirt at every major function, she wears the Sari. Everything looks so normal, until you get to know them closely.
All they see is power, and they take it using the best way possible, corrupting the minds of people. Apparently they will look all well dressed, and aptly well spoken in all public events, but they move the crowd in a way that still makes me wonder how many retards I have in my state. These people are pure evil. Educated, smart, pure evil.
These are the people who will smile at you, talk politely and in a swift move will cheat you. Most normal mallus hate other cultures and people who are not mallu,Yes even other Indians and especially the West. They just use it to make money.
Normal Mallu women are woman who believes that doing housework is beneath them and always crib about it. Loves to show off and always gossiping. Normal Mallus are the people who always are concerned about other people’s business, like who is having a baby, why did he do engineering, look at her why can’t she get a better husband and so on. Another point is being ungrateful. No matter how much you do for them, they never say Thank you and want more and more. Not even an iota of gratitude.
Another point is that they brag about their kids and say that other people’s Kids are dumb. Assume that they know everything. Also, try and have a discussion with a Normal Mallu. An intelligent discourse is not possible. They have to fight and argue and then comes screaming and shouting.
2. The Retard Mallu
They are the reason why I sometimes begin to hate where I come from. Educated or not, it really doesn’t matter, because, these, are some serious retards. They come from all sections of the society. They don’t know how to react, they don’t know how to think. They think that being Educated makes them smart. They are the useless people in this country that has the potential to cause harm as they are mere sheep in the hands of the power-loving Normal Mallu.
It’s like an educated army of retard-zombies who can be controlled by a common cause with no logic to support it at all. That, is chaos, my friend.
The Thinking process of this people start and end with textbook education. All of them have no idea of what they are fighting for and what believes they hold. It’s just a huge pool of wasted education. You channel them in any way, they will blindly follow suite, all you have to do is lead them with a sign.
Their thoughts are so skewed that, no mater how much education they possess, they will never accept the changes that happen outside. hey never think to progress. These are your Moral Police. They impose weird laws on people, in the name of “safeguarding the Malayali Society and Culture “
The sad fact is, they are the Malayali population majority, and hence all the evils in the Mallu-stereotype belong to them.
3.The Outcast Mallu
The Minority Malayalis. People don’t even believe we exist. Most of the credit goes to the parenting, which enabled these people to be free-thinkers even as kids. They grow up to become good human beings, but according to the Mallu society, Bad Mallus.
These are the Malayalis who do something good to people and help someone, but the ones they help betray them and they become bitter.
All Malayalis who do good end up with the same fate in Kerala and these are the ones who suffer the most. In the end they leave Kerala for Good. Kindness is a virtue that is not possible to have in Kerala.
Characteristics of these Mallus
They are the ones who respect women EVEN when they are at a disadvantage. We take care of them.
They are the ones who have become fed up of this social etiquette that is nothing but retarded pure evil.
They are the ones who are always questioned for what we do.
They are the ones who totally defy the Mallu Stereotype, making the people from outside even wonder, if we are from the same state.
They are the ones who drive the over-drunk girls safely back to their homes.
They are the ones, who act, on our own.
They are the ones who had to face so much ridicule from everyone throughout our lives, just because they could think on their own, and never failed to express it.
They are the ones whose Kindness is mistaken by the rest of Mallus as stupid and ridiculed saying that they are fools as they do not cheat anyone.
They are the one who have to face all the shit from the rest of the world just because we did one mistake – They were born Mallu.
The only funny part about this is, they are the ONLY Malayalis (along with the NRIs) who get accepted everywhere else around the world, except in our own homeland.
They are respected, and accepted everywhere, and are not even referred to as being Mallu, they just end up belonging everywhere.
4.The Non-resident Mallu
This category consists of kids of NRI Malayalis, who end up being awesome.But the sad part of this group is that their parents. Parents of these children have no clue about the life back home as their version of Kerala is stuck in 1970 or when they have left. To them Kerala was the friendly homeland with poverty they saw back i the 60’s and 70’s.
Little do they know that the people back home were not screwed and manipulative and have a bad attitude as they did not have the money to show their nefarious side.
A friend of mine once told me a wise saying – ” Money does not change people, it merely gives bad people a chance to bring out their nature to light. Give them an opportunity to get away with their crimes.”
Now that NRI money has flowed in people are showing their true colours.
Most of these NRI Kids are inculcated the Malayali culture, which they learn from Malayalam films, and have no ground reality of how to stay or live in their own homeland. Plus their parents version of malayali culture.
Whenever the Normal Mallu (Local Keralite) sees them or even if they encounter the relatives they are only loyal or even care about them as long as you give them money,or use them as a means to an end. NRI Keralite gets disillusioned after having so many experiences and hence ends up leaving Kerala. Sadly
Not surprised if anyone outside Kerala is skeptical because the experience, but even the Non-resident Mallu and the Outcast Mallu are skeptical.
Want to share an article that I have come across. This is from a Mallu Himself
I am an ex Malayali who has left Kerala, and i think there are lots of compelling reasons for people to be a little skeptical of them.
In my personal experience Malayali people are the most selfish and cunning people I have ever met.
An educated neighbor next door will not mind his own business. If you plant some vegetables in your yard he/ she next door will not do that instead they will find ways to destroy your vegetables.Since people in kerala has no job this is what they do. Poke their noses into other peoples business. Have no regard to personal privacy
Malayali people only care about money and are even willing to torture people to get it. Most malayalis who are rich became so by looting their own relatives. They don’t care if it is Brother, sister, father, wife , husband and so on.
To Accomplish their goals they are willing to do anything
My statements are based on the observation and my experience being there.
In Kerala, if you are not amused or take joy in another persons suffering then you can’t be called a Malayali.
Let me share this news
This is what happens when people deal with people in Kerala. This good Arab guy helped a Malayali when he was in Jail in Dubai and seeing how much he has suffered helped him and his wife to start a business. What Happened. The malayali person did not show his gratitude and instead stole all his wealth and now this poor Arab guy can’t even support his family.
People spend time to research and scheme to cheat one another and do not work hard for making their money. In Oman and UAE where i have lived for some time, I have literally seen the suffering of other malayalis which was brought about by their fellow brothers and sisters. Most of them betray there own people.
Interesting News Article. Readers please be the judge
Backstabbing in DNA of Malayalees: Union Minister Alphons
After leaving Kerala and settling down in Rajasthan, I learned that life is beautiful with you can leave behind all negative values.
Truly Shared by a Mallu himself.
Sharing a few more experiences which I have read by Dinesh T
As a Tamilian, these are my observations on Malayalis:
They are highly educated, but have a backward mentality. In the company where I work, Malayalis are the only ones who are lethargic, and try to take the easy way out. Most of my colleagues are ready to put in a hour extra to finish the work, but when you ask malayali colleagues, they get very angry.
Don’t know why people say that kerala is literate. I have seen even poor people in Tamil Nadu talk politely since in Kerala people are always argumentative and is hot tempered. Even on street i always hear people argue. I can’t understand how to have conversation with them as they are always argumentative.
Let me share a clip which was shared to me by a colleague.
Kallada Travels bus staff thrash passengers force them out
A passenger gets beaten by the bus staff for asking why there is no one coming to fix the bus, after it broke down and he requested for a refund, since they are waiting for a couple of hours after the bus broke down.
In my experience, you cannot have a civil discussion with malayali. If you keep quiet, they assume that you are ignorant. if you talk they will argue.
Another thing that I have observed is always scheming and cheating people. Cheating people is not the only way to make money, but working towards it is another way. The Malayali girl who lived in my apartment building went and filed for disability claim to get her child scholarship, when her child is a perfectly healthy child. These people should understand that there people with actual needs. Please do not indulge these kind of activities.
There is a saying in Tamil ” KOLAYALIYA NAMBINALUM NAMBALAM AANA MALAYALIYA NAMBA KOODATHU “, which means trust a murderer but not a malayali.
I am not trying to generalize but people here say that because most of them have a bad experience with a Malayali person. Most of them are scheming and cunning.
Being a Tamilian, i can understand the malayalam language and what i found out is that no one trust each other, that is because people always screw each other and backstab each other. My malayali friend once told me that even spouses don’t trust each other and let me share my experience of a malayali colleague. They are married for 9 years and have a daughter. What he told me is that he eats from the office and his wife cooks one day for the child, the next day he cooks. He keeps telling me that everyday life is miserable. One day he drank a whole bottle of rum and sat in the theater and saw the same film 4 times as life was filled with arguments. In fact most of my colleagues don’t even talk to their spouse.
I do not understand the religion in Kerala. They say they are secular, but spend full time talking about religion and spreading christianity. In our apartment complex in Sholinganallur, we have come across a bunch of Malayli christians who always preach about doing good and kindness, but we have never witnessed any acts of these from those people. There were a lot of complaints against these people from various families due to their arguments and excessive alcoholism.
Racism is another point i want to point out. They are not appreciative of other cultures and always assume that they are superior. In Tamil Nadu, what i have observed is that malayalis look down on us due to skin colour. They call us PANDI, as an Insult. Well Tamil people are proud of their culture.
All this is coming from the fact that they have a fake superiority sense. Well the rest of Indians are educated as well.
I do not want to generalize, but have come across these scenarios and hence want to point out that these are the reasons why people are skeptical and always unwilling to trust them
Moving on to the next item which I am sharing
Although the below clip is meant for humour, you can certainly find the mindset of a Malayali person from this.
The person in this clip, who does a job for this wealthy person, never even thinks that he gets his living because of him. So when the lady tricks him into thinking that he has won the lottery, he literally abuses the person who gave him the job.
Once he realises he was tricked, he literally goes back and begs for his old job.
There is a Malayalam proverb – Palam Kadakkuvolam “Narayana Narayana” Palam Kadannal “Korayana Korayana”.
Literal: Until the bridge is crossed one prays “Narayana, Narayana”,once the brigde is crossed one says “Korayana Korayana”. (Narayana is a hindu god, Korayana refers to a disrespectful distortion of the god’s name. )
Malayalis are only with you until you have met their needs . Once you have helped them to overcome or reach a solution to a problem, and as soon as they feel relieved, they start treating the person as if they are now strangers or even annoying to them! (i.e. They totally forget the help they received.)
Malayalis are a double edged sword, as they can hurt anyone in one way.
Think of this in a simple manner. If you are in the presence of a person like Saddam, he will only torture you if you get on his bad side, else you will get on with your life .But whether you are on the good side or bad side of a Malayali, they can torture and harass you.
Article by Shraddha Patel, Architect at HKS Architects
I am from Delhi and I do not hate Kerala, but what i find surprising is that all the people say that it is the most literate state and highly educated people, yet they seem to come across as the most irrational and narrow minded people, and they think they are God’s gift to the world.
I am sharing my experiences of what i had with Malayalis. When I graduated from college and just preparing for a new chapter, my mother told me that in our apartment block there is another family, who is an architect and told me to approach him. I did so When I met him and gave him my resume, he just glanced at it and threw it in my face and told me that you are not worth it. How rude. I expected him to say that that you would need to improve on this. What is strange is that in a couple of months I landed up in the same company where he works.
Another instance what i would like to share is that, when i left my first company, there were a couple of references required for my new company and most of my colleagues are malayalis. So i asked them and gave their names as references. What happened next was that no one whose name i gave as references had given me any response and when i called them they said they cannot do it.If you are unwilling to help please do say so in the beginning and do not say that you can and then waste the other persons time. Luckily my manager was a Sikh and he has vouched for me.
I’ve noticed in diverse groups of people, in colleges, or even when i travelled abroad, malayalees can gang up and be insular, and this is even compared with other insular groups like Tamils, Maharashtrians, Goans, Kannadas and so on.
In Delhi, among most people we say that East or West , Mallus are the pests
I am not being biased being a North Indian , but people from Kerala is very hard to deal with. Most of them are very cunning and are unwilling to help anyone. I am friendly to all people and yet i find it difficult to be friendly to Malayalis. Even though I have a few Malayali friends, I guess they are nice because they are generations removed from living in Kerala.
I guess it is the Kerala culture that makes people distrust them.
Sharing a comment from Shibu George
Kerala is an Enigmatic place. As a Malayali myself we criticize North Indians as not progressive and Westerners as having physical relationship in public and lacking family structure, but we seldom introspect and find the faults in us. People are skeptical because most of them are very individualistic and are self serving . Let me list the qualities that I have observed and the reason why most of the people are reluctant to hang out with them
This is based on a proverb ” Araante ammakku pranthu pitichaal kaanaan nalla chellu”
Literal: If somebody’s mother goes mad, it is a good scene to watch
Do not understand why so Mallus take pride in someone else’s misfortunes. That same tragedy can come to them as well.
A product of high education (Not the right education)
Backstabbers – Everyone talks rubbish about someone else, be it family members, friends or colleagues. What a bunch of gossip filled people.
True Malayali nature is revealed only after alcohol
Whenever there is a party, they will dress up in their best and go the the alcohol table and slowly start guzzling alcohol as there are planning to store them in their big belly.( Guess they learned to store their drink like the Camels of Arabia). Once they are fully sloshed, you will hear the most derogatory comments a human being can spew
Know it all attitudes
if you ask a Malayali anything, even if they they do not know of the topic, they will surely talk about it. Even if you offer correct answer, they will come out and say that don’t teach me, I am educated.(arrogance)
Money goes through their head – Another proverb to prove my point
” Alpanu aishwaryam vannal, artha raathriyilum kuda pidikkum”
Literal: when an insignificant person gets wealthy quickly, he will even hold an umbrella at midnight.
The funny fact is that out of poverty and unemployment in the 80’s and coming to a better lifestyle, instead of being grateful they show off in front of others.
Beating and Heroism – Don’t understand that why beating people is a matter of pride. A small argument turns violent. Even Malayali parents beat the crap out of their children. Everyone things that they are champions by showing physical strength
Religious Hypocrisy – Goes to all religious institutions and show off. just look at the ladies, drink throughout the week, and then on Sundays goes to these places, putting on a lot of gold, and powder like a clown (Thinking that it will make them look all fair and lovely) and do not even attend the services, and attend all association. The mentality is praising a deity on weekend and on weekdays it will be brawls, hypocrisy and all other nonsense.
High fi mindset – If a malayali gets a new gadget, clothes or anything , he will show it to others and pretend that everyone else if low grade. 21st Century society with a 4th century BC mindset.
Money for friendship – your best friend is with you only till you have a status.
A lot of my NRK friends do not even want to visit Kerala as they know that this is the place which should be referred to as Purgatory
Below comment from Rejil Nair
Couple of years ago, my answer to this would be it is a great place, beautiful scenery and so on. That is because we are conditioned to think in a certain way, and we only question our own life when we face challenges.
Once I realized what the challenges are, I realized my own place is not as green as it should be. Yes, it is green, but Green with Envy and Jealousy.
Kerala, is a state that enjoys high social indicators. That is the tag line that all Malayalis use or the ones who are hardcore Malayalis use to describe Kerala and its culture. There comes a point in most Malayalis life or atleast the once who are not hardcore, they come to the realization that mostly people live with narrow mindedness and lack of proper culture.
On the surface, we are very forwarded minded, but underneath the surface comes the dark underbelly of our sad cultural upbringing, which you will come to realize after being exposed to other cultures and hangout with other communities.
Anyone who disagrees in their society is branded as ignorant, threatened, abused, and stigmatized. Cunning mindset, control, manipulation, threats are a way of life there. If someone points out the mistakes in a malayali, despite thinking is there any fact in it he or she will make the other person shut any possible ways.
Malayalis are more like to flock together in a gathering and less likely to ease into a conversation with a non-malayali. There is a inherent sense of groupism amongst us. This stems from the fact that people believe that they are highly educated and that others are inferior.
When in Dubai, once I was talking to another Malayali, I mentioned about a dinner I went to previous night. Those people were from outside Kerala, This Malayali immediately told me that oh! how she doesn’t mingle with Hindi speakers because they don’t have class. Yes! that’s the exact word she used. I have seen many Malayalis ignoring other people in a group.
Assuming that you are superior you is plainly wrong.I used to think “what would Kerala be if it was not for the money of oil rich countries”. The answer to this is poverty.
Once that thought kicked in, I realized that we lack gratitude and have forgotten the route of the wealth today.
Even in a company where there are people from all over the world, Mallus ignore the rest. Try and find Mallus hanging out with Filipinos, Arabs and Europeans and so on in Dubai. I can say that maybe for the ones raised there, or whose parents imbibed in them good values.
Most Non Native Malayalis do not mix with native mallus because of their cosmopolitan upbringing. It is not due to snobbishness. But because you have nothing in common to talk with them. While the native Mallus have grown up exclusively in Kerala in the company of only Malayalis. So they tend to flock together. Besides the ones raised in Kerala have zero social etiquette which makes them unwelcome in other groups .
When I was working in Dubai, long time ago, we were living in a shared apartment, and one day our electricity was disconnected and we thought this would never happen. We had paid the bill on a Friday and this was not reflecting in the system. The next day a government appointed electrician came and disconnected the fuse. Who happens to be a Malayali. When we showed him the bill, he said it is not my job to look at the bill and then refused to listen to us and disconnected our connection.
After half an hour, a we saw a Pakistani electrician in the same area, and we approached him and told him that we have paid the bill and showed him the receipt. He called the office, got the system updated and reconnected us back to the electricity. Observe the difference in attitude. Just in a matter of minutes and nothing illegal was also asked by us.
The problem with this attitude is that if this is done to a Non Malayali, then it is not just stereotyped opinion that is formed but real ones. At times I feel bigotry is a bit internal than external, as mallus treat their own mallus with disrespect. Then again, some cases turn out to be different.
Even among minority ethnic groups, Malayalees are looked down on and they command less respect compared to tamils and north indians, as people observe these sort of behaviour and try and stay out of this.
Malayalis are obsessed with others. They need to show off in front of perfect strangers for no reason at all. And the comments by mallu guys are crass, that it is unbelievable, and the best part is they do not realize that it is not normal.
Even a villager from a small town in other places has more dignity than a Malayali and will behave himself in public. And what is more the pity is that Malayalis think this is normal. They do not realize how abnormal most of them are compared to the others.
Keralites are a cynical lot often refusing to believe anybody’s sincerity of purpose. This is because from birth they are conditioned to believe that all non Malayalis are unclean and uncultured.
The pride of being a Malayali, and the belief that we are superior with literacy transforms into arrogance about being a malayali and absolute disrespect for others. Today a lot of people within the state who has a thinking capacity and common sense is trying to shed their roots or identity and for that matter even NRI Malayali.
It is because Keralites stick out like sore thumbs outside Kerala and have earned themselves a ‘reputation’ with their ‘outstanding’ behavior.
Kerala proves that every literate person cannot be called an educated person. Education is a much broader concept than literacy. Literacy might make people feel superior to others, but only educated people are superior who know how to respect elders and pay due attention in putting themselves in others view before doing stupidity. The people who can read and write, but use abusive and foul language are literate but definitely not educated and well versed.
Yes judging others and moral policing, yet never taking a self analysis. Keralites like to pose as paragons of virtue until the sun sets.
Honestly speaking, I take pride in being a good Human Being, rather than being self righteous and judgemental. I wouldn’t want to be associated with other Mallus, not because of any contempt, rather I feel more open minded. The jingoistic groupism they so fervently purport is sickening. The infamous Mallu narrow- mindedness and jealosy is still prevalent, ripping apart families and friendship. On the whole I am friendly with Mallus, but I would not want to emulate the pride and the narrow mindedness and xenophobia.
I wish I was a any other Indian, because of how, many mallus are perceived (again..not all!). At least the remaining are open and accepting of other people besides their own group, where as Mallus only care for themselves and don’t give shit about others.
It is better to keep a distance with Malayalees. At best they can be acquaintances, never friends and certainly not relatives by marriage or some within.
I am reminded of a witty quote about kerala, It is God’s own country housing Devil’s own people!