Here’s a healthy pun!

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📅︎ Jun 02 2020

I’m trying to eat more kale because it’s healthy. But when I see it on my plate, I ask myself…

Do the ends really justify the greens?

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📅︎ May 12

How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy?

Eggs-ercise, specifically hare-obics

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📅︎ Apr 04

Who is Cardi-B’s healthy sister?

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📅︎ Mar 09

I’m planning to open my own healthy food and supplements store.

Why do I feel healthy on Saturdays and Sundays, and so sickly for all the other days ?

Maybe, I just have a weekend immune system.

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📅︎ Feb 06

My girlfriend’s walked out on me, saying she’s sick to death of my healthy, but boring diet.

Never mind though, plenty more fish in the freezer.

I wanted to be more healthy so tried putting oat milk in my tea.

Stay healthy!

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📅︎ Oct 15 2020

They say practice healthy eating…

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📅︎ Dec 04 2020

One should eat a healthy meal before going to space.

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📅︎ Nov 15 2020

Healthy dialogue

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📅︎ Jul 06 2020

Maintaining a healthy diet…

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📅︎ Dec 06 2020

Why are Wendy’s burgers healthy?

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📅︎ Dec 13 2020

So I try to eat healthy

But every time I try, a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers

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📅︎ Jun 30 2020

Sleep experts reckon that in order to stay optimally healthy, you need “6-8 hours a day”.

That’s me buggered then, my day has 24 hours.

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📅︎ Oct 27 2020

I eat healthy food 6 days a week

I only eat greasy food on Fryday

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📅︎ Oct 19 2020

Eating apples is healthy

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📅︎ May 18 2019

My wife gave birth to our child today. Everything went well, the baby is healthy and I’m very happy

If you’re here looking for a punchline, you probably won’t find it. This was just about the delivery

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📅︎ Sep 12 2019

I’m sure he’ll grow up to liver healthy life.

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📅︎ Apr 16 2018

I’m sure he’ll grow up to liver healthy life

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📅︎ May 02 2020

In order to stay healthy during this pandemic, I’ve been dancing in public while insulting people.

I practice social diss dancing.

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📅︎ Jul 24 2020

Those patties made of chickpeas and spices are supposed to be healthy.

But whenever I make them I felafel.

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📅︎ Aug 10 2020

What music group will make you healthy?

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📅︎ Jun 09 2020

Why is Jesus so healthy?

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📅︎ Mar 18 2020

All of my mom’s sisters are incredibly healthy

thanks to all of their auntie-bodies.

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📅︎ May 04 2020

I had to check my pee if i was healthy

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📅︎ Apr 05 2020

Germany has unveiled a new, healthy meal plan for all its citizens

They call it the Guten Free Diet.

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📅︎ Sep 24 2019

My daughter: it’s not healthy to have that much whip cream

Me: just trying to get whipped into shape.

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📅︎ Dec 24 2019

Did you hear that Science is now saying Birthdays are Healthy for you?

Apparently people who have more live longer…

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📅︎ Oct 23 2019

Dad: I’ll have the steak. Mom: Have the chicken instead. It’s healthy.

Dad: No it isn’t. It’s dead.

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📅︎ Jul 31 2019

Whole Foods is using anime to promote healthy snacks for kids.

Their first product is ‘My Hero Macadamia.’

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📅︎ Sep 24 2019

The gaming world made kid’s teeth healthy

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📅︎ Jan 01 2019

Ive been trying to grow my food, to be more healthy

I just can’t find any bacon seeds

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📅︎ Sep 08 2019

When you really want to live life on the edge and be healthy

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📅︎ Feb 17 2019

Why don’t healthy dyslexic people eat bread?

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📅︎ Jun 22 2018

To live a long and healthy life you’re supposed to give up cigarettes, booze, and fried foods.

Well maybe you won’t actually live longer, but it sure will feel like it.

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📅︎ Jul 31 2019

A healthy marriage is often like disappointing electronics

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📅︎ Jun 14 2019

Taking train will make you healthy

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📅︎ Jul 16 2019

They told me drinking lead would be healthy…

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📅︎ Apr 18 2018

Why is Warren Buffett so healthy for his age?

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📅︎ Jun 02 2019

A post-biological society would be so healthy

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📅︎ Feb 24 2019

The doctor said I’m healthy

Son: which doctor?
Me: no the regular one

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📅︎ Jun 03 2018

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📅︎ Jan 30 2019

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